So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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