so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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