legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Couch. On fire.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
