So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
