Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
