If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
