I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
babies were throwing up all over the place
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize