Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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