I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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