bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
