Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
