He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
