just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
