the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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