you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
