i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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