brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
