There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
