He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My life is pants optional.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
