Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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