Do vagina's smell?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
