So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
