you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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