All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
