I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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