i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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