You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
