i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
