I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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