yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i already hear my dad disowning me
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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