remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
that is very illegal...i love you.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
