We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
