The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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