8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
