i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
