lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
