She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
