Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
