As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
