Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
