We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I AM VODKA MAN
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize