My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Randomize
