I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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