is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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