"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize