and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
