Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
