That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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