Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
