i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
