we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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