Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
