Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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