Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
