Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
