I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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