So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize