some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
