Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
